my disturbed self

They are 6 days old now.

Still hurts like a bitch when I move my legs.

At least they stopped opening back up.

Now I have sunken in lines in my skin to trace.

At least the pain is a reminder I can still feel.

but vlood stained sheets sucj

so drunk

and idgaf im gonna cutt so good!

Best part is?

No one here cares enough to say anything.

If they did, I’d deny it of course.

But it’s the thought that counts….right?

I’m wishing I could hit a vein.

Or I wonder if I should just go grab some pills and end it all.

Wonder what my therapist would say if they knew…

Seeing the pink white where the blade was

then the red.

When you just know these will be your new favorite scars.

God. 

I love when people tell me to die.

I love when people tell me how much of a fuck up I am.

I have absolutely no way to deal with my emotions.

My psychiatrist just increases my medicine doses.

My therapist doesn’t do shit for me.

What was the point of being on this planet again?

Oh yea, to watch humanity fuck everything up and hurt others.

My bad, I forgot.

I have wanted to cut so bad.

Hopefully I can resist tonight.

Oh and some nose candy.

Probably some weed.

You know usual parties.

Hopefully some bars this weekend!

Cheers to blacking out!

Maybe no cutting since I’ll hopefully be too messed up to function!

I got pretty messed up.

I took Benadryll with it to pontentiate the effects.

Had a lovely evening with one friend and then another.

Now I finally feel as though I can sleep.

(As I’m nodding off while I type this.)

((I didn’t cut either…except this morning…but none tonight for me.))

Shit.

Better come out.

I love how it feels to move my wrists with fresh cuts.

I’m so messed up.